We have all heard the phrase “children are like sponges” and it is so true. From such an early age they watch and mimic our actions. Because of this, it is important to pay attention to the style of leadership they are being instilled with. We’ve all experienced leaders that we either loved or hated and who have made an impression on us whether it was good or bad. Chances are that you’ve made a mental note or two about how not to lead. What about what it takes to be a good leader? Keep reading to find out my 3 tips to raise little leaders.
It recently came to my attention that I have a leader on my hands. My oldest daughter loves to take control of nearly every situation that she is able to. From deciding what game to play with her sister, how to organize their bedroom or even how to help with chores. Somehow she always manages to get her way. Occasionally there is a disagreement but for the most part things tend to resolve themselves.
Since I’ve noticed my older daughter “bossing” everyone around, I’ve made it a goal to try and show her what it takes to be a good leader. Here are my 3 tips to raise little leaders.
Lead By Example
First and foremost I think a great quality in a leader is to lead by example. Act the way that you would like for those you are leading to act. It doesn’t do any good to tell someone to do something you would not be willing to do yourself.
I find my older two struggling with this occasionally. For example one will take a toy the other has had and be quite rude about it. They will start to argue and one or both of them end up in tears. I use this moment to teach them that they need to treat others the way they want to be treated. The main reason for this is that you are teaching others how to treat you. If you steal a toy, they will in turn steal from you. If you share, play or work together, they will be more willing and likely to share and play or work together in the future.
Teach Rather Than Tell
Second would be to teach rather than to tell. It is in our nature to want to to be right whether or not that is the case. I have yet to meet anyone who enjoyed being told they were wrong. It is important to correct mistakes with kindness. To show them your expectation and to do so with respect. People are much more likely to listen if they are treated with respect and understanding.
When my younger daughter decided to start learning how to build LEGOs she asked her sister for help. But being only a few years older, she misunderstands the word help for “please build this for me”. I noticed my younger daughter getting frustrated so I encouraged my older daughter to “teach” her sister how to build the LEGO rather than to do it for her. Now when they get a new LEGO set they build them together and have fun playing with them for hours after.
Don’t Suppress Their Urge To Lead
Finally, don’t suppress their urge to lead. I know that it can be challenging to have a strong willed child. Many of us feel that it’s “my way or the highway” and want them to comply to our rules. Here comes the part where we have to think about the leadership style we are instilling. Are we going to be strict and force them to do everything our way? Or are we going to let them have some freedoms to learn and to lead in their own ways.
By no means am I telling you to let your child have free reign or control over your house. It’s more that we need to understand that we were them once. Exploring the world around us and seeing where we fit in the world. We should allow them to do the same. Most definitely have boundaries that you do not allow them to cross, but have some flexibility when it comes to things you are butting heads on.
For example, in my house I like to be in control and always thought that I would run a tight ship and things would be perfect all of the time…boy was I wrong. Once my daughters got old enough to think freely and question the things that I do I realized that I would have to lighten up…a lot. It is less important to me to have strict order in the house, but rather to have children who can and do think for themselves. Children who question everything and want to learn the reasons behind why we do things. Children who will eventually be able to care for themselves and hopefully one day when I am old and frail they will take care of me.
We as parents are as my father likes to say “social engineers”. We teach our children how to be in our society. How to think, act, and treat others. So keep these 3 tips to raise little leaders in mind while you’re raising your little ones. Teach them to use their leadership skills for the better. Above all else, remember to breathe and know that you will make it through this stage in life and so will they.
